“AND ANTI-POLL GIFT”

I haven’t blogged yet about the mistakes made on television Closed-Captioning, but it happens a lot.  I’ve been writing down my favorite mistakes for a few years now, something I learned from Aunt Louise.  Many many years ago, she kept a notebook next to the television and would write down the funniest errors, but there were so many she finally gave up on keeping a list.

Tonight I was watching The Daily Show, and perked up when Jon Stewart announced that his guest was Spencer Wells, “a Geneticist and an Anthropologist, he’s the Explorer-in-Residence with the National Geographic Society and his new book is called Pandora’s Seed: The Unforeseen Cost of Civilization.”  Since I am an Anthropologist as well, I’m always excited to see ‘our kind’ on television.  Unfortunately, the transcriptionist for Daily Show has trouble with our profession.

The Closed-Captioning (it’s always in ALL-CAPS) introduced Dr. Wells as:

“A DBA NET SIFT AND AND ANTI-POLL GIFT.” 

It was slightly corrected on the next line: “HE IS AN THE ANTHROPOLOGIST,” but it still left out Geneticist and Explorer-in-Residence. 

I know it’s not the transcriptionist’s fault.  Closed-Captioning on television, as well as CART Reporting—Communication Access Realtime Translation—is live (realtime) captioning performed on a stenotype machine.  The transcriptionist does not type in words, but rather syllables that are then translated by a computer program into words.  So if you ever notice that the Closed-Captioning mistakes seem strangely phonetic, it’s because that’s how they were entered!

This wasn’t the first time that my field-of-study was displayed incorrectly on The Daily Show.  Last year, Peter Mancall was on the show promoting his new book Fatal Journey: The Final Expedition of Henry Hudson; he was introduced as a professor of History and “AND TROA POLL DBI.”

Most of the time, the Closed-Captioning mistakes aren’t too bad and can be deciphered.  When Lorelei on Gilmore Girls yells that she is “out of dog TATS” instead of dog treats, you could probably figure it out.  Same with Gary on Early Edition insisting that he loves his “PANTS” instead of his parents—in the context, he was in the middle of talking about his parents, so it’s pretty easy to catch the mistake.

Then there are times when the mistake is extremely confusing.  A few weeks ago, Brandt and I were watching the season finale of How I Met Your Mother, one of our favorite shows.  Lily and Marshall were discussing a cab driver they’d just seen who looked exactly like their friend Barney.  According to the captioning, Lily said,

“The CABBAGES didn’t look enough like Barney.”

Brandt looked at me, confused, and I paused the show.  “Cabbages?  What do cabbages have to do with Barney?” he asked.  “I have no idea…” I said, equally confused.  It really did sound like she’d said “cabbages.”  I hit rewind, listened to it a few times, and finally yelled, “The cabbie just didn’t look enough like Barney”!

Phonetically, it was close.  Logically, it was way off.

  

But He’s My Sister!

Tonight in my ASL class, we practiced how to ask permission and request to borrow things.  Our teacher, Mary, cut out slips of paper with scenarios to act out, and we each had to choose one.  Mine said, “Your washing machine has broken down.  Ask your sister, who lives nearby, if you can borrow hers.” 

I had the easiest scenario, by far, and I got to go last, so I had time to learn from my classmates’ mistakes.  The first lady needed coins for a parking meter, but only had a $20 bill and needed to borrow $1 in quarters.  Another lady was in a restaurant and kept bumping elbows with the left-handed person next to her, and needed to switch places.  The only man in our class, Steve, was at the library and needed to borrow an umbrella because it was raining.  But he couldn’t remember the sign for LIBRARY, so he tried signing “BOOK-BORROW-HOUSE.”  Mary demonstrated how everyone could have asked their requests better, and made them re-sign it.  I was pretty nervous when it was finally my turn.

I signed to Steve, even though I was supposed to be asking “my sister.”  I remembered to give details about what my problem was and why I needed to make a request to this specific person.  I said, “MY WASHING-MACHINE BREAK.  YOU LIVE CLOSE, DON’T-MIND I USE YOUR WASHING-MACHINE.”  Mary told me that the only thing I did wrong was not adding a QUESTION-MARK at the end to show that it was a question, and she didn’t make me re-sign it.  She jokingly told Steve, “You should say, ‘SURE, BUT YOU HAVE-TO PAY TO USE MY WASHING-MACHINE,’” which he repeated.

I looked hurt and signed back,

“BUT, YOU[’RE] MY SISTER!”

Steve laughed and said, “Not until after the operation!”

Every week, I love this class more and more.  And when I got home, about 15 minutes early, my Hearing Cat, Cupcake, was standing on the arm of the couch waiting for me.  Brandt was sitting in his recliner, so he knew I was home thanks to Cupcake’s ‘alert’:

One Month til Philly

In just 30 days, I will be at the National Association of the Deaf’s 50th biennial conference in Philadelphia!  As I previously posted, my Grandma Jean made the incredible offer of funding my entire trip, so all I’ve had to worry about is reading up on Deaf Culture, practicing my ASL, and deciding what workshops I’m going to attend.

I’m two-thirds through with reading A Journey into the DEAF-WORLD, halfway through Everyone Here Spoke Sign Language: Hereditary Deafness on Martha’s Vineyard, and yet to start A Place of Their Own: Creating the Deaf Community in America.  Still a lot of reading to do!

The list of workshops is up, and I’m really excited about a lot of them.  I have a Graduate Certificate in Public Health, so I’ll definitely be attending “Working with the Deaf Community in Public Health Research,” and I would like to learn more about being an advocate, so I’ll probably go to “Leading a Successful Advocacy Campaign.”  I’ll also attend workshops on Newborn Hearing Screenings, Deaf civil rights, ASL, and Deaf Culture. 

Unfortunately, the two workshops I most want to attend are being held at the same time: “Advocating for the 21st Century Communications and Video Accessibility Act,” and “Deaf Babies’ and Children’s Human Rights to ASL and English” by The Deaf Bilingual Coalition.  Both of these issues are very important to me, so it’s going to be a very tough decision to pick just one.

The NAD has posted a signed and captioned video of some of the sights around Philadelphia—it’s great practice for watching Deaf people communicating in ASL:

Roger Ebert Learning ASL

Legendary film critic Roger Ebert lost his ability to speak in 2005 after undergoing surgery for jaw cancer [warning: the picture is rather shocking].  A few weeks ago, he shared in his journal entry “Why I'll be Learning Sign Language” that “After spending a couple of years avoiding sign language, I received this message from James Mottern, the director of "Trucker," which told me things I needed to hear.”

Mr. Mottern’s three daughters are learning Sign Language and he has been learning it with them, through the children’s video series Signing Time with Alex and Leah.  He felt the need to write Mr. Ebert a letter after learning that Roger expressly did not want to learn it, and hoped to change his mind:  

“...I am here to tell you that sign language is one of the most incredibly enjoyable forms of communication I have ever experienced.  Smoke I do not blow, Roger.  In sign language you can express yourself in ways that you had but hoped to be able to do through spoken language—or even the written word.  The emotionality, heart and spirit that can be conveyed in this manner has been an inspiration to me to becoming more open and sincere in my everyday life.  With words you can lie.  But in sign language you wear your heart on your sleeve—just about literally.  In sign language it is nearly impossible to betray your feelings to others.  There is a purity and beauty to it that, I am not kidding, will bring a tear to one's eye.  In sign language your hands and your eyes and your body language can convey thoughts so viscerally that it registers in the brain in some ways the same as film; I mean it.

“And I am telling you this as a truth: although I am still not very good at it, sign language has brought me closer to my family.  And beyond that, I truly feel it has made me a better writer! ...[I]n my opinion, beyond film itself, sign language is the MOST CINEMATIC form of communication.  It is dramatic, funny, tragic, illuminating, nuanced, and, yes, at times even embarrassing.  If sign language could have a filmic format it would be 70mm Technicolor and viewed at the Cinerama Dome!”

The comments are all very positive and supportive, and I recommend skimming over them.  My favorite is from Deaf actress Marlee Matlin:

“Roger, Next time you're in LA or I am in Chicago, I would love to give you a sign language lesson.  I've always cherished your kind words about my work all the way back to "Children Of A Lesser God" and I recall with fondness how welcoming you and Gene were when I entered the business.  I would be more than happy to return the favor, pay it forward to YOU and teach you some of this most beautiful language of sign.”

He replied:

“Marlee, that would be like [Maria] Callas teaching me about opera.  The times we've been together I've been struck by how warmly and easily you communicate.  I have the advantage of being able to hear. I should be ashamed of myself.  Mottern's letter and these comments have gotten me all worked up.”

Good luck, Mr. Ebert!  Learning ASL has been a fun and rewarding experience for me; I only wish I could describe it as eloquently as Mr. Mottern has done.

  

New Blog Feature

Since I’m still new to this whole blogging thing, and currently have about 10 readers (hi everybody!), I’ve decided to add a new feature to this blog.  It’s called “Reactions,” and it allows you, the reader, to click on a selection of reactions to the blog posts.  You can choose funny, cool, sad, and blah—click all that apply (they are located at the bottom of the post, underneath “Labels”). 

Your reactions are anonymous, so please be honest (if it's too long or boring, tell me "blah"!)  This will give me feedback on what you think of my posts, so I can adjust my topics and style more to your liking.

Our ‘Hearing Cat’

You are no doubt familiar with Seeing-Eye Dogs, which are guide dogs used by blind people to help them get around more easily.  You might have even heard of Seeing-Eye Ponies (or “Guide Horses”) and Helper Monkeys, too.  But did you know that there are Hearing Dogs used by Deaf people?

I didn’t know that Hearing Dogs existed until the Hearing Loss Association of America convention last summer.  There, Brandt and I saw over a dozen Hearing Dogs, wearing their orange vests, ranging from a tiny Pomeranian to a large Golden Retriever.  I then learned a lot more about Hearing Dogs in my Hearing Loss Support Specialist certification class.

  

Hearing Dogs are trained to alert their Deaf or Hard-of-Hearing owner to a number of sounds including smoke alarms, doorbells, ringing telephones, alarm clocks, sirens, and someone calling the owner’s name.  It costs about $25,000 to select, care for, train, and follow-up with a Hearing Dog, but the owner only has to pay a $50 application fee.  Since the HLAA convention, I have met several people who have gained confidence in venturing out in the world since losing their hearing, thanks to their furry Hearing companion.

Brandt and I aren’t really dog people, so he’s not planning on getting a Hearing Dog.  Unfortunately cats aren’t trainable to alert their owners to specific sounds, but our kitty, Cupcake, does alert Brandt to one thing—she lets him know when I get home. 

Our living room is off to the right when you walk in the house from the garage, and the couch is on the inside wall of the garage.  When I get home from ASL class, the grocery store, etc., Cupcake will jump up on the arm of the couch and start meowing at the door to the garage.  Even with his hearing aids in, Brandt can’t hear the garage door going up, but Cupcake sure can.  This is a relatively new trick that she has developed, but she has been very consistent with it since she started doing it last year.  It’s not as helpful as alerting him to the smoke alarm or having his name called, but, it keeps him from jumping out of his skin when I burst through the door unexpectedly. 

I don’t have a picture yet of Cupcake in her “Mommy’s home!!” position, but here’s one of her sitting on the other arm of the couch, next to Brandt’s recliner.  She was mad that my cereal bowl was in her way, so she put her tummy in the bowl and laid down anyway:

Frank Talk

**This post might be gross to some readers.  I apologize if you are offended or disgusted by it and hope you won’t hold it against me!

I don’t have my ASL class this week because of Memorial Day, so I’m going to share a story from last week’s class.  We started learning about ailments and medical conditions, like HEADACHE, ITCHY, VOMIT, DIZZY, etc.  [a gloss is basically the English translation of an ASL sign, and is written in ALL-CAPS.  So when I write a word in ALL-CAPS, that means it represents a sign in ASL.]

A big part of Deaf Culture is frank talk.  Deaf people don’t sugar-coat things, they give their opinions openly and honestly.  It isn’t meant to be insulting, it is just a facet of their culture’s communication.  If a Deaf person is late, they are expected to give a lengthy description of why.  You can’t just say, “Sorry I’m late,” you need to give a better excuse.  If a Deaf person has to leave early, the same goes—give details.  And when Deaf people excuse themselves, oftentimes they don’t say “I’m going to the bathroom,” they say they’re going to go PEE.  Details.

So when our teacher Mary was going over the lesson, she had to make sure that we understood the difference between the signs POOP, DIARRHEA, and CONSTIPATED.  There was a lot of uncomfortable giggling and several red faces, which intensified when she and Tom, a local interpreter who had stopped by to visit our class, disagreed over the correct sign for FART.

As she dismissed us at the end of class, Mary asked,

“So is everyone good with their POOP now?” 

And on that note, here’s a comic from my new favorite comic strip, That Deaf Guy, by Deaf artist Matt Daigle: